Hi Lovely,
Welcome back to Beyond The Beauty.
Over the last couple of episodes, I've shared a little about my own journey with anxiety and some of the lessons therapy taught me about self-care.
Today, I wanted to talk about something that can be incredibly difficult to explain unless you've experienced it yourself.
What anxiety actually feels like.
Because I think anxiety is one of the most misunderstood mental health struggles out there.
When people hear the word anxiety, they often think it means someone worries a lot...And while worry can certainly be part of it, anxiety is so much more than that.
It's not simply thinking about problems.
It's what happens when your mind becomes stuck in a cycle of trying to predict, prevent, and prepare for every possible outcome.
It's exhausting!
And often, it's completely invisible.
The Mind That Never Switches Off
For me, one of the hardest parts of anxiety is that my mind rarely feels quiet.
Even during moments that should feel relaxing, there's often a constant stream of thoughts running in the background.
Thinking.
Analysing.
Planning.
Problem-solving.
Preparing.
Questioning.
Replaying.
It's like having dozens of browser tabs open in your mind all at once.
Some are relevant.
Some are old memories.
Some are future worries.
Some are conversations that happened days ago.
And somehow, your brain is trying to process all of them simultaneously.
You might be sitting watching television.
Driving your car.
Having a conversation.
Trying to fall asleep.
And yet your mind is busy running through scenarios that haven't happened and may never happen.
It can feel impossible to switch off.
Not because you don't want to.
But because your brain simply won't let you.
The Endless "What Ifs"
If you've ever struggled with anxiety, you'll probably recognise the endless stream of "what if" questions.
What if I've upset someone?
What if I made a mistake?
What if I forgot something important?
What if something goes wrong?
What if I fail?
What if I can't cope?
What if something happens to the people I love?
The problem is that anxiety rarely stops at one question.
Your brain immediately starts searching for another.
And another.
And another.
It's like trying to solve a problem that doesn't actually exist.
You spend so much energy preparing for situations that may never happen that you end up exhausting yourself in the process.
The cruel irony is that anxiety often convinces us that worrying is helping.
That if we think about something enough, we can somehow prevent it.
But...all it really does is steal our peace in the present moment.
Looking Fine On The Outside
One of the reasons anxiety can be so difficult for others to understand is because many people become incredibly good at hiding it.
I know I did.
There were days when I was smiling.
Working.
Running a business.
Looking after family.
Chatting to clients.
Showing up exactly as people expected me to.
And yet inside, my mind felt completely overwhelmed.
The thing about anxiety is that it doesn't always look how people imagine.
You don't have to be having a panic attack.
You don't have to be visibly upset.
You don't have to be crying.
Sometimes anxiety looks like someone who appears calm while carrying a storm inside their head.
Sometimes it looks like over-preparing.
Sometimes it looks like perfectionism.
Sometimes it looks like people-pleasing.
Sometimes it looks like constantly staying busy because stopping feels uncomfortable.
And that's why so many people suffer silently.
Because from the outside, nobody can see the battle happening within.
The Physical Side Nobody Talks About
Something else people don't always realise is that anxiety isn't just mental.
It can affect your entire body.
When your brain believes you're under threat, your body responds accordingly.
Even if the threat isn't actually there.
You might experience:
A racing heart.
Tension in your shoulders.
Headaches.
Difficulty sleeping.
An upset stomach.
Muscle aches.
Fatigue.
Restlessness.
Feeling constantly on edge.
For me, anxiety often felt like my body was permanently waiting for something to happen.
Like I could never fully relax.
Even during good moments.
Even during happy times.
There was always a small part of me waiting for the next problem.
The next challenge.
The next thing to go wrong.
And living in that state for long periods of time is exhausting.
Anxiety Is Trying To Protect You
One of the most important things therapy taught me was something that completely changed the way I viewed anxiety.
Anxiety isn't trying to hurt you.
It's trying to protect you.
Now, that doesn't mean it feels pleasant...And it certainly doesn't mean it's helpful all the time.
But anxiety's job is protection.
Your brain is constantly scanning for danger because it believes it's keeping you safe.
The problem is that sometimes it becomes overprotective.
Like an alarm system that's become far too sensitive.
Instead of only reacting to genuine danger, it starts reacting to everything.
Every uncertainty.
Every possibility.
Every unknown.
Understanding this helped me stop fighting my anxiety quite so much.
Instead of seeing it as the enemy, I began seeing it as a part of me that was trying, in its own clumsy way, to keep me safe.
And that shift created a lot more compassion towards myself.
Learning To Live Alongside Anxiety
One thing I've learned over the years is that healing isn't always about making anxiety disappear.
Sometimes it's about learning how to respond to it differently.
Recognising when it's showing up.
Understanding what's triggering it.
Learning what helps.
Giving yourself grace when you're struggling.
And remembering that difficult moments don't last forever.
These days, anxiety still visits from time to time.
But I understand it better.
I recognise the signs sooner.
I know when I need to slow down.
I know when I need support.
And I know that having anxiety doesn't define who I am.
It's simply one part of my story...Not the whole story.
If You Live With Anxiety
If you're reading this and recognising yourself in some of these words, I want you to know something...
You are not broken.
You are not weak.
You are not failing.
Your mind is working incredibly hard to keep you safe.
Sometimes too hard.
And while that can feel overwhelming, it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you.
Anxiety can make you question yourself.
Doubt yourself.
Push yourself too hard.
But it can also teach you compassion.
Resilience.
Self-awareness.
And the importance of looking after yourself in ways that go far beyond surface-level self-care.
Most importantly, I want you to know that you're not alone.
There are far more people carrying similar struggles than you might realise.
Many of them smiling.
Many of them showing up every day.
Many of them quietly fighting battles that nobody else can see.
JUST LIKE YOU!
A Final Thought
One of the reasons I wanted to create Beyond The Beauty was because I believe we need more honest conversations about mental health.
Not perfect conversations.
Not expert conversations.
Just real ones.
The kind that remind us we're human.
The kind that help us feel understood.
The kind that make someone sitting quietly with their own struggles realise they're not the only one.
If that's what this series does for even one person, then sharing these stories is worth it.
Thank you for joining me for Episode 3.
Next time, we'll be talking about something many women struggle with every day:
Why we find it so hard to slow down and rest without feeling guilty.
Until then, be gentle with yourself.
With love,
Cat x
Founder of Nailed That!
Because beauty is only part of the story.
